Basketball Wives star, Tami Roman has an Instagram series titled , Bonnet Chronicles. Roman uses her Instagram account to make quick humorous videos ranting about a wide range of topics. On July 15, 2016, Roman posted a clip expressing her distaste to the statement, “Hurt people hurt people.” The reality TV star stated:
“It just works me when I hear people say hurt people hurt people. Hurt people have brains, hurt people know right from wrong, and hurt people know how to make proper decisions. But they don’t have to be accountable for all the fucked shit they doing out here in these street to people, because we gave them a cute little catchphrase to latch onto.”
Unfortunately, Roman has a false understanding of the phrase, “Hurt people hurt people.” The saying does not mean people who inflict emotional or physical pain on other individuals should not be held responsible for their abusive behavior. The utterance simply means that if a person consciously or subconsciously decides to hurt another individual they are most likely hurting in some shape or form.
There are so many individuals on this earth who are experiencing some type of pain and may not even know it. Some of us are in distress because we have been hurt by members of our family, friends, teachers or maybe even strangers. We often allow wounds from the past to navigate our current relationships. Because we hold onto pain from the past we sometimes unintentionally lash out on the people around us. Our past pains also may lead us to run from love or block our current blessings.
Many of us do not make peace with negative incidents that happened to us in the past. However, there is a magical word that is the cure to many of our problems and that is forgiveness. Forgiving dark incidents from the past means that you’re letting them go, so that those past situation do not continue to drive your life. When you forgive you let go of all of the hurt that is preventing you from reaching a place of love, peace, and happiness. Think of forgiveness as a spiritual vacuum that removes sadness, resentment, and hurt.
If you have any desire to hurt people you are most likely hurting. When you reach a higher level of consciousness you understand that all human beings are connected to one another. What you do to someone else, you do to yourself. In addition you also get to a place where you understand karma. When you lie to someone you open yourself up to more people lying to you. As a spiritual being, the universe has a law of attraction where hurtful energy attracts destruction so therefore evaluating if you are acting out on others out of hurt is extremely important.
The spiritual leader, Iyanla Vanzant explains in her book, Trust that there are two emotions that human beings work from and that is love and fear. When people hurt people they’re living in fear that they are not good enough, they are fearful that they are unheard they’re fearful that they are unloved. Understand this and treat selfishness with generosity and treat hate with love. When you understand that someone will only hurt you if they’re hurting inside you learn to not take things personally and walk away from situations where people are taking their hurt out on you.
Treat all with love and compassion and continuously pray for the growth of individuals who decide to hurt you. It is never your job to try to hurt individuals who have wronged you. Stay grounded in faith and understand that at all times they are consistently performing the best that they can with the tools and resources that they have.