About a month ago, I was burdened by uncertainty. I quit my job as a Labor and Delivery nurse, giving up what I thought was going to be my dream job. My mind was running a mile a minute with illogical and logical worries because I was unsure of the next steps. I only knew that where I was working was not the best fit for me to thrive and I needed a change ASAP!
My mind's anxious disposition resembled the outlook I had in college. I was weighed down by self-doubt and fearful of what would unfold in the future. I reflect on the simplicity of college days and well-planned out class schedules with scheduled events and club meetings. Back then, I reported to professors and counselors. Now, I report to MYSELF.
As I enter panic mode, I take time to breathe and tap into my former self: a 14 year old girl navigating her own path to high school and deciding whether she wanted to move or not.I was terrified, but brave enough to leave the only home I knew, to live with my biological father in New York. I tap into the young woman crying in her dorm room after almost failing a class and dealing with stressful family issues, whispering to herself “there is purpose in every obstacle you face.” I accepted that my next steps were up to me and there’s no one easy path for what I want to do.
As a nurse,I took a pay cut to dive into the unknown, seeking a less stressful work environment. I didn’t know what the hell I was signing up for. But,my life needed more balance. I feel deeply that balance and stillness provide the space to actually think and brainstorm, no matter how uncomfortable it can be to incorporate these practices in a growing life. I realized it’s okay and necessary to take time to get clear on direction. Additionally, I realized listening to your gut and not other people when you know you need balance is extremely important. Tune the noise out!
I’m in the space where I desire change and newness. I want a new experience with myself, exploring opportunities. I began my quest for change by meticulously planning out my journey. I got the memo-- life doesn’t happen exactly how we plan it. I’m learning there are signs highlighting our purpose and it’s about continuously ensuring my life compass is pointing in the direction of my truth. I’m so use to having full control of my life plan that being in the space of the unknown takes my anxious mind to the tenth level. As I live in my 14 year old bravery, I tell myself to stop and take a second to breathe.
I realize in phases of uncertainty that mapping out the possibilities is a great alternative to writing a final draft of my life. Lists allow my thoughts to flow in a more cohesive way and tackle my confusion. Viewing my list of current challenges with appreciation has provided me with food for thought these past couple of weeks. This year, a lot of my friends voiced their own unhappiness with their personal and professional positions and their need to spread their wings. Like me, they were having a hard time seeing the purpose in everything.
Speaking with my support system about this familiar space pushes me to believe this is a human experience...almost everyone goes through this stage and that is okay!! We are complex human beings prone to change and discovery. Remember you are not alone in this!! Everyone needs a time to be still and recharge. While I do place an enormous amount of pressure on myself to know what’s next and plan accordingly, I balance it with giving myself room to breathe. I moved from feeling stuck to open. Open to new possibilities and routes in my career and life as a whole. Here are some tips if you feel stuck or uncertain:
Map out your possible routes to what you want- whether that’s more community, a better job, change in career, or passion project
Speak to people who have been in this space before
Read books and articles/watch videos on tips about purpose and fearless living..attached below are links to some resources
Do research before you make drastic decisions which is highly possible in stages of uncertainty