On the heel of 2017, you were lost and abashed. 2017 stepped on your neck and forced you to adjust your thoughts and attitude. You suffered greatly and believed that God was punishing you for the aggressive judgments that you made about others. However, you now know that God does not punish or reward. The universe puts you in perfect situations specifically designed for your growth. When you graduated college in May of 2016 while most of your close friends were able to score positions in their field, you were forced to take a job that paid you less than $200 a week. You felt inadequate and worthless. All your life you tied yourself to your accomplishments and possessions. After May 2016, you were no longer able to associate yourself with a prestigious institution or a coveted internship. There were times in which your dramatic ass played Solange’s album, ‘A Seat at the Table’ and cried in the bathtub as you drank a Heineken. When January came you told yourself that the one thing you will never do is give up on your dreams. You encountered so many people who revolutionized their career paths due to difficulties they had experienced. You committed to applying to five jobs a day.
In February, you finally scored a job at NBC. Although, you weren’t making the most money you were ecstatic to finally have your foot in the door. Working at NBC you encountered a group of individuals from unique life experiences. You grew to love them and you learned to appreciate them greatly. Instead of honoring this moment of working with and learning from a group of individuals who were on a similar journey, you obsessively continued to worry about the future of your career. One of your greatest blessings and greatest struggles is that you don’t live in the present. Consistently, you are stuck in a future that does not yet exist. The benefit of this is that you are always focused on your career and strategically planning for the future. However, you are also constantly anxious and concerned about all of the decisions that you are making day by day. After working at NBC for sometime you went to a conference for black journalist. While, everyone suited in their best professional garments prepared to become the next Lester Holts and Tamron Hall, you and your green suit stuck out like a sore thumb. You called your mom and a number of friends, bawling about the pain that you felt from being rejected by a series of news professionals at the convention. When you returned home, you felt even more bewildered about your career. A week after the conference you landed a job at BuzzFeed, an environment where you would be able to interview celebrity guest and get on-air experience. Getting this job reminded you about the importance of trusting, trusting in God and listening to your inner voice.
2017, was not easy on you romantically. You took some risk, you slid in DM’s and you initiated dates. Most of which failed to have their fairy tale ending. You found yourself in short lived situationships that reminded you that it is more than okay to make an ass of yourself every now and then...Sadly, you made excuses for people who didn’t deserve them and allowed the thoughts of others to determine how you felt about yourself. Weirdly, an embarrassing rejection story changed your life for the better. After strongly wanting someone who didn’t want you back, you learned the importance of paying attention to nonverbal communication. In life if you ever want to know if someone is telling the truth, pay attention to their nonverbal actions and not what comes out of their mouth. Although, you initially responded to rejection with anger and frustration. You were taught that, “You are not for everyone and everyone is not for you, nor should you want to be for everyone.” The failure to be accepted by others was painful, but you ascended to the top of all of these situations because they ended with you having a better understanding of yourself.
God, knows who you will be at the end of 2018. But, you have learned to relax. You have taken the passenger seat and the understanding that God is in control has relaxed you and secured you in a way that is immeasurable.